I used to be a kind of person who expected everyone to have a similar behavioral trait. Where everyone smiles at you in the bus, all relationships were golden and every sin was mediocre.
But growing up I came to terms with the differences in experience that people go through, making them behave distinctly and sometimes, strangely. Digging deeper in this realization, i discovered that experiences have a lot to do with personality traits. The situations people go through make them who they are. Circumstances mostly leave a mark that alters egos.
Now most people have a weird way of dealing with victims of tragedy (whether they are the victim themselves or someone else). In our country, they simply release a child who witnessed the murder of his/her parent in the care of guardians without any therapy. They expect the victims to heal of emotional pain or trauma with panadol.
Victims of heartbreaks simply look at a Jay Shetty quote and move on to another guy close enough to beards, without taking time to contemplate on what really happened in the previous relationship or the impact it had on them.
Then people behave badly all of a sudden: ‘young boy tries to kill a man,’ ‘wife kills husband,’ ‘gangs arise,’ are the headlines that are mostly a consequence of what we like to disguise as moving on.
Most people walk out of storms with a drenched soul but they feel they are well when they ion their clothes. Hearts get broken and emotions get drowned but when you are able to see the next attractive woman, you think we have healed enough. We see a child next door who merely says a word, and we feel they are just moody.
Personality says a lot about someone and we should take time to understand people before we judge them. Maybe they have gone through a process that crippled their ability to smile at you as they are saying hi. Be nice and less judgmental.
I have met and talked to a number of people who are perceived as bad and most of them just suffer from the monster that a certain experience created in them. Its help they need, not pointer fingers in their direction.
To those that have gone through any sort of unfortunate occurrence, have you really healed? Victims of abuse; have you moved on or you’ve moved completely in?
You haven’t really forgiven if the thought of the person who offended you comes with sinful emotions, you are still in denial if you see every man as bad, you are still in bondage if you think you can’t trust anyone in this life, there is grief in you if you feel everyone wants to hurt you.
Moving on is smiling at an issue you have chosen to be in good terms with, moving on is not being disgusted the people that hurt you, moving on is understanding that life is a series of lessons in which we all have our own tutorials, moving on is not generalizing people, moving on is not finding confidence in temporal solutions like alcohol. Moving on is not acquiring a girl within 24 hours to heal from a 48 hour heartbreak.
Moving on is forgiveness, especially of oneself.
Forgive yourself, you are not responsible for everything that happens, so if you don’t question a random k100 you receive from a person whom you did not ask, then don’t be completely destroyed the challenges that life throws at you. We don’t harmer a metal to destroy it, but to create something better. Survive this; whatever you are going through.
There is a huge difference between healing and paranoia, don’t escape internal conflict with fear, face that side of you. You can’t heal obscuring pain with another mistake.
If you feel you have had an experience you have never let go of; find healing, not from a single quote, but from your entire being. Heal before you try again.
Seek help from people; it’s always comforting to talk to someone who can help. You deserve to live a normal and sound life.
God bless you.